Why the Can of Pepper You Ask?

A can of pepper may seem like nothing special to you and to be honest, in most cases, I would feel the same way. It's only ever been really important to notice a can of pepper when the can you currently have, is going empty on you.

You add it to your shopping list and use it sparingly until the next trip to the store gets closer. Here, the trips to the store are few and far between so I try to buy a new can of pepper when my current one starts to feel just a bit light. There's always room in the cupboard for that small can of pepper.

In this posting, the can of pepper tells a story. It's a story from the heart and you may even consider it to be somewhat sappy. Bear with me - with writer's block being over, this is one of those thoughts that won't leave my head until its been written about so it appears I've no choice but to let it out.

So grab some tissues and read along... I needed a couple of them myself :)

Why is this can different? Because it came from my mom's apartment. I elected myself to be the one who sorted through all the odds and ends of things remaining when she passed and found this to be many things all at once; sad, happy, thought-provoking, cleansing, fullfulling and mostly a pleasure.

After all, this was my mom's stuff. She kept it for a reason and even though those reasons were unbeknownst to me, it was still important that attention be paid and in doing so, I learned more than I ever knew about her and found some new memories of her to keep with me forever.

My mom loved paperwork apparently. There was enough paperwork to fill many lawn size garbage bags and even a couple bags for shredding. She kept things like prescription bags with the receipts still stapled to them. They dated back into the 1970s. They were very well organized. She wouldn't have had it any other way.

She kept our report cards. Not every single one but close! She kept our shot records - every single one. She kept bank statements and cancelled checks in order by month, with each month in a separate folder. At year's end, she took the folders and put a big, fat rubber band around each month and kept that year together. For many, many years...

She kept receipts for everything she bought. Pretty sure everything... it seemed like it. She kept her credit card statements and written on every one of them, in her beautiful left-handed script, was the date she paid it and by which means. It's her handwriting that stays in my mind. Typically left-handed folks have odd looking penmanship. Not my mom. Hers truly was beautiful. It flowed, it was graceful and it was perfect. She wouldn't have it any other way. Reminds me of her :)

There were books and pictures and what-nots. There were decorations for Christmas, Easter and Halloween. There were old bowls that have been handed down through the family and there were clothes, baskets, candles and records. The records she played on her record player. We didn't care much for them when we were little but what I wouldn't give nowadays to see the pleasure in her eyes while she listened to them. Like I said, I brought home memories :)

Mom was a great cook. I wish I had paid more attention back then. She could make dinner for six with a couple cans and a pack of meat. Neccy has that knack, I don't. I don't know if Davey and Dougy do but I hope so. She made fried chicken, country fried steak (on the rare occassion we could afford it!), pot roast, broiled fish (that I've never been able to duplicate), homemade drop biscuits, mashed potatoes (the best in the world - for real!), and all sorts of other great meals. How she fed us all on the slim budget she had still amazes me.

Her cookware was nothing special or fancy. She had the same stuff forever. It was seasoned, it was scratched, it was stained and it was chipped. But it didn't matter. She cooked with it without complaint and never even thought to replace any of it. It worked. Why fix it if it ain't broken...?

It was hard to let that stuff go. I kept some and gave some to whoever wanted it because there was just too much for me to take it all. Besides, that would have been greedy. As it turned out, a friend of mine was related to a 70 year old lady who had just lost everything she had in a home fire. Most of the pots and pans, dishes and glasses, bowls and cups and saucers went to this lady who lost everything. What are the chances of us having so much to give at the same time that someone else has lost all of it? We gave her the microwave and the little 4 cup coffee maker.

I made coffee for mom one day when she wasn't feeling well. I was over there making breakfast and cleaning the kitchen. It all goes hand in hand. I don't drink coffee so the process was new to me. I put the measured amount of coffee in that little paper filter and turned on the maker. I finished breakfast, cleaned up the dishes and mom very patiently asked if she could have that coffee I promised.

It never brewed. Hmmm??? I looked at the switch, which was on but other than that, I was clueless. Come to find out, you have to add water to the coffee maker! LOL She really got a kick out of that and even waited, with a little snicker on her face, for me to make another attempt. She got her coffee that day and she got a story to share and laugh about. I do funny things sometimes... not as often as she did nor were any of my things near as funny. That's how she was. More memories to take home with me just looking at that little coffee pot. I hope the lady who has it now enjoys it as we did that day!

I ended up with the old electric skillet. Neccy felt it was the right thing to do and if she ever needs to use it, she knows where it is. The skillet doesn't have its non-stick surface any longer but it does have its cover, the cutting board that came with it, the cord and the serving tray. There is sticky grease on the handles she held, scratch marks all over the cutting board from it being used for the Thanksgiving turkey and you can barely read the temperature on the cord. The tray looks brand new even though it too was used quite often. I remember it being piled high with ham slices, turkey pieces, vegetables from dad's garden and all sorts of other good things to eat. They made things to last way back when. I brought that memory home physically...makes me think of her everytime I look at it. I've yet to use it but when I do, that will be a whole new story.

When I cleaned out the cupboard where the seasonings were stored, I wanted to keep them all. I knew that wasn't the right thing to do so I shared them with the only other person I knew loved to cook like I do - Jack Davis. He was happy to have them and was talking about which ones he would use on what sort of food he was cooking. He already had plans for those seasonings.

Me? Well, I did pack myself a small box of things from the cupboard. Each of them were ones she used rarely but wouldn't be without. Things like whole cloves, anise seed, fennel seeds and ground cumin. You may not need them often but you don't want to have to go out and get them at the last minute. And I kept the pepper.

The pepper was opened but the tab had been broken so the pepper would just spill out if you weren't careful. She wrapped plastic wrap around it and used it like there was no problem. Someone else might have tossed the can but not mom. It held the pepper just fine. The plastic wrap kept it in the can. I couldn't leave without taking it. I was taking home a memory.

When I used the last of the pepper, I felt really weird. I couldn't throw away the can. It was just a silly can but her hands had touched it and I needed to touch something she touched. I'm sure the day will come when I'll be able to part with that can but for now, it's here with me to stay a while. Maybe that's what healing is about?

As hard as this was to write, and believe me, I had to walk away several times, I'm glad its out now. I feel like a story was told about my mom and her things. Some of them made her who she was. They sure made some great memories.

It would be a pleasure to me for people to think that of my things when I'm gone.

Rest in peace sweetest woman in the world. You have two of the sweetest men in the world with you now and I'm seriously jealous of that!

Love to all. Thanks for reading.

P.S. My eternal thanks to all those of you who were there to help with everything...