What an exciting weekend for me!!

Pull up a chair, get yourself some coffee or get your ciggy lit and ash try ready because this one is pretty good if I do say so myself!

The pictures in brief:
The whole ham is just that. It barely fit in the cooler. At one end is (2) ham hocks and at the other end is a quarter of a pork shoulder.
The whole pig picture is my girl getting cleaned up and ready for quartering.
The ducks were hanging out at Daryl's dad's place - quacking and waddling all over.
The scalding is kind of hard to see in the picture but I didn't want to totally gross you out so I stayed back a little further.
The hog slayer is Daryl standing in the trailer after taking care of the business at hand.
The hog slayer in jail is Daryl again - posing for me while he was in the pig trailer. With the partition, it looks like he's in jail.
The rinsing picture is with Wally driving the tractor and Kurt rinsing off any dirt or debris from the trailer.

I just can't tell you how excited I was this entire weekend! Of course the fair was fun, and a story by itself, but then I found out we really were getting a hog - exciting in and of itself, but then I found out I would get to go to the hog pen while they loaded them and I could be there for the slaughtering and processing. For those of you with a squeamish stomach, you may want to skip the hog section. I'll save it until the end so you will easily know when to quit. I don't have a squeamish stomach and I will try to keep it as humane sounding as possible. Unfortunately there just aren't always words to replace the natural way things have to be done.

If you're asking yourself how I picked out the pig I wanted. "Eenie, meenie, minee moe.." worked for me :)

So off to the fair we went... it was not exactly what I expected but as it was, it was better than I expected. The demolition derby started an hour late so we missed that :( but we found out later that only four cars were in the pit at the same time. The pit is smaller than our swimmin hole so any more than 4 wouldn't really fit. They did have 4 different heats and from what we heard, it was a very loud and raucous event. While sitting there waiting for it to start we had the most fun just people watching. I told Wally I looked like a skinny minny compared to some of the fair-goers and you know I wouldn't normally say something like that unless it were incredibly true.

It seemed to be a sort of "meet and great" among the locals. They were visiting as if they hadn't seen each other in months when in reality, they probably see each other daily at work or weekly at the grocery store or church. LOL There were kids running around with dirty faces, no shoes, windblown hair and all manner of blow up toys like hammers, guitars, bats, etc. Their mammas were trailing behind, stopping to talk to neighbors, friends and relatives.

Since we were bored waiting for the derby to begin, we headed off to the mid-way. As you know, I had my heart set on a corndog and cotton candy. The corndog came first and it was everything I hoped it would be and then some. It was way bigger than any other corndog I'd ever seen and it was all I could do to eat the whole thing while washing it down with my Sprite (no beer at this fair folks!). I topped it with mustard (no vile ketchup for me) and bite by bite made my way to the end of that monster. I couldn't tell you how long it's been since I had a hotdog but I can tell you I'm probably good to go until the next fair comes along before I have another one. It was awesome!

Unfortunately, it was so awesome that I was too full for cotton candy. I saw it but I just couldn't do it.

We made our way over to the ferris wheel, which is my favorite ride of all. Well, this is just a little county fair and the ferris wheel isn't like the one at the Central FL Fair so don't go getting all worried or scared or whatever feeling the ferris wheel typically evokes from you. Not only was the ferris wheel small but the guy who was running it was new (the regular guy had quit that very day - my luck) and didn't know how to stagger riders so that the wheel would be balanced. Now, I have to mention that I didn't realize there was a technique to this but who am I to say, clearly I've never been in charge of a ferris wheel distribution process. ha ha ha

Enter me and Wally. Wally's kind of big in case you hadn't noticed. The new guy opened the gate for us to get into our carrier (?) but alas the seat belt wouldn't fit around us. He said he wouldn't tell if we didn't and he closed the gate. We were ready to set sail. Apparently he was never trained on how to make the ferris wheel go forward because the entire ride consisted of us wheeling backwards. LOL it was still fun y'all, don't mistake my words. As we rounded the top, I noticed some lights off in the distance, probably about 15 or 20. Wally pointed out that those lights represented the downtown area of Centerville. There was no "confusing the Disney lights with the Universal lights" up here on the Hickman County Fair Ferris Wheel but I was happy to be up there just the same.

We didn't get to ride very long. The new guy explained that since he could only seat two groups at a time, he had to limit the number of rounds we took but he did say if we came back later on, he would hook us up. Thanks man, but that's okay. I had my ride and I was good.

I figured I might as well ride the carousel while I was there since all the other rides were kiddie rides except for the fun house and I wasn't about to go in there. No thanks - someone might be in there touching people and I wouldn't be able to handle that at all.... aaaaccckkk  So I go up to the gate to ride the carousel and the guy tells me I can only ride in the chariot. What? Why can't I ride on a horse? He said that no adults were allowed on the horses, adults are only allowed in the chariots. Well, so much for that. It's just not the same if you can't feel the wind in your hair while you ride your wild horse on the carousel... never heard of that before.

We wandered around a little bit and ended up giving away the rest of the tickets we bought to a lady Wally knew who had a couple kids that could use them. Then we made our way to the competitions; baskets, canning, photography, agriculture, etc. I'll be entering something next year but this year I used the time to assess the competition. There were definitely some good entries in the canning category but I'm telling you, I can win the basket category unless it turns out to be one of those things where everyone votes for their friends. I'll still enter though and give em a run for their money :)  LOL

We stopped to see the mules in the mule pull competition and by then we had had our fair share of the fair (ha ha). We got back in the car and headed to Pee Wee's place. I had put together a dinner for Daryl since he was working and wasn't able to partake in the giant corndog feast and it was waiting in the cooler along with a couple cold beers. He got a slab of smoked picnic ham, some fresh green beans and carrots seasoned with bacon, a couple biscuits and a piece of chocolate fudge pie (I didn't make it, it came as a birthday present). I told him the rule - if you don't return my bowls, you don't get a refill. He said he didn't think I'd have to worry about that.

It seemed that even though the fair was small in size, it was big in its ability to spread friendship and make for a genuine small town community feel.All in all, we had a very delightful evening.

Here comes the part about the hog so if you want to skip to the bottom where I typed END OF HOG STORY in bold, you'll hear about the rest of my weekend. It's not really all that bad though...

Saturday  morning couldn't come early enough for me just knowing I was going to the hog pen and picking out my very own hog. She's not for raising folks, she's for filling the freezer. We grabbed a sandwich at the Subway in Centerville and followed the guys to the pen. I thought it would stink and be really nasty but the hogs keep it pretty clean, all things considered.

It took a while to get them rounded up but Kurt knew just what he was doing. He went in there by himself and somehow managed to roust 3 of the biggest hogs I'd ever seen. Not that I've seen that many in my time but these were pretty darn big. The guys estimated them to be between 300-400 lbs. I didn't realize they would be light in color. I thought they would be dirty or black with slop but they weren't. Rather they were kind of a tan color while they still had hair on them.

We went back to Daryl's dad's place. Talk about the perfect set up for what we had ahead of us. After the hog is killed, it is hung up on an attachment to the tractor and rinsed off - you can see Wally and Kurt taking care of this step in one of the pictures I posted. Wally drove the tractor while Daryl and his dad checked the temperature of the water in the scalding vat. Some dirt got on the hog from being in the trailer and some of the blood gets splashed around too. So she gets a good rinsing before she goes into the scalding pot.

Another picture shows the pig as it looks when it comes out of the scalder. It took the three of them to lift her back out and onto the table where the scraping of the hair then begins in fast action. I learned that the temperature of the scalding water has to be just right otherwise the hair won't come off, somewhere between 154 and 157 if I remember correctly. The guys have been doing this for quite some time and made easy work of it - at least that's how it looked. When I tried my luck at scraping - ha! Not so much. I would have been at it all day if I ever even finished it then. Once a weenie always a weenie! As a side note - I was really surprised at how creamy white the skin was once it was cleaned. It looked like very soft, pillow-ey, white dough. As Kurt's wife said "The Other White Meat." lol

Well the hog was hooked back up to the trailer and using a skill saw, Daryl split it in half (see photos). There are some bone fragments created in this step but she gets rinsed at this phase too. This is also why you should always rinse your pork when you get ready to cook it. Even from the store, whether you've noticed or not, there are always tiny bits of bone fragments, especially on pork chops. The guts were removed very precisely so as not to taint the meat (that's how they explained it to me and I couldn't think of any other way to put it) and while Kurt got the liver, the heart was added to my boxes. Another rinse was given.

The pig was then delivered to the quartering area which is basically a blue tarp laid out on the ground and washed off by spraying water on it. Laid out in two pieces, skin side down, Daryl begins the process of cutting out the ribs and the tenderloin. He then produces the longest section of pork chops I've ever had the pleasure of eyeing. I probably drooled. I know for a fact that my mouth was watering. From bacon slabs and pork shoulders to chops and ham steaks - nothing was spared but the squeal (sorry - that's one of the jokes they tell during the process). The ears, tail and feet were boxed up for the dogs. The jowls and hocks come off too and if anyone wants them, the brains are saved in a little box of their own. There isn't much as brains go - literally, they didn't fill the palm of my hand. Daryl's dad likes them so we gave them to him. I can't say I don't like them because I've never had them. Not knowing how to cook them though, I didn't want to ruin them if someone else wanted them. I would try them - what the heck I like the rest of the pig.

Daryl's dad (Shorty) has a big cooler that he got a long, long time ago from a florist who was going out of business. It's perfect for storing the meat until it can cool over night. It has to cool before you go to slicing it up any further. I don't know why, it just does. After going through the paces of butchering two big hogs, we were all pretty tired. It took all day and we still had another half day ahead of us on Sunday. I wasn't much help but I did learn a lot and they said I could participate next time. I may have asked too many questions in my desire to know all there is about butchering but the guys were very patient with me. They even thought it was funny that I could eat my sub after watching the first pig go through the process. Well, I didn't get to eat it on the way to the pen and I was hungry - besides it was turkey ha ha ha ha ha!

Sunday we washed every cooler we owned and loaded them on the trailer. We got to Shorty's place around 8:30 or so. I had my trusty bottle of Clorox Clean-up and a scrubbing pad so I could clean the meat cutter trays, the wheels, the bins and the sausage grinder. I felt better knowing my meat would be on a newly bleached surface. The shoulders were cut into quarters - one being just big enough for about 4 people if we were having pulled pork unless Kain is invited, then we might need to cook two of them. One ham was sliced into ham steaks like you get from the store (unless you're lucky at MEAT bingo) and wow - it was much better having the choice of thicker or thinner in this step. I couldn't tell you how many steaks we got, maybe close to twenty.

The hocks were cut out and then came the chops. The slab is longer than Wally's arm and Daryl offered to cut them however thick I wanted them. I had him do about 6 of them really thick so I can stuff them and the others are about 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch thick. I don't like them real thick because they tend to dry out when you cook them. One cooler was filled almost to the top with just chops! They came home with mamma!

As the cutting went along, Daryl was stacking up the fat on the side table. This was where I came in. They gave me a sharp knife and I set to cutting the little pieces of meat from the fat so it could be ground into sausage (some fat was left in) and then the white, silky, smooth fat was boxed up for me to render my very own lard. In the process of the rendering, you get cracklins - if you have never had a cracklin, you haven't lived. I'll save that story for when I've finished the rendering. Kat, make sure Mike knows what the upcoming blog posting will include so he doesn't miss it. I found a technique for doing it on the stove top.

And so the butchering came to an end but this day was hardly over. To show our appreciation for all that they had done, we invited everyone back over to the cabin for a ribeye steak dinner. Naturally, pork chops would be served on the side :)

END OF HOG STORY

Well now, I had so much meat to get bagged up and into the freezer that I had to have some way of condensing it and I also wanted to be sure it kept long enough for us to be able to eat it before it goes bad. I went and picked up one of those Food Savers like they have at the club. It is a very handy, dandy piece of equipment when it works properly. I had problems with the right side not sealing every time but after a couple hours and with a helping hand, I finally had all the pork chops vacuum packed and in the freezer. I'm returning the Food Saver and going to the dreaded Wal-Mart to pick up another one. I'm told Wal-Mart has a bigger version that will be better for roasts, hams, etc. especially when deer season is upon us.

So the grill was lit and the steaks were seasoned and ready to go on. Then it proceeded to pour down rain for about 20-30 minutes. A slight delay that just gave us reason to sit and relax and talk about the day for a while.

The guys had already given Jimbo a much-needed manicure and the other horses were galloping across the front yard in all their gold and brindle glory. Surely they must know how beautiful they are when they put on a show like that!

We had our dinner inside and then I sent everyone outside while I cleaned up the kitchen. From where I stood, I had the pleasure of watching everyone relaxing and enjoying themselves under the deck while the hummingbirds ate their fill and the dogs gnawed their way through pig's feet, ears and tails. The sun was beginning to set on an otherwise breezy, cool, Tennessee evening and my head was just full to bursting with stories to tell you about all of it. I hope you enjoyed the reading of it as much as I enjoyed the telling of it.

Tonight I hope to get the bacon, ham and jowls salted, covered and in the outside refrigerator where they have to sit for at least 28 days. When the time comes, we'll be able to put it all on the smoker and then hang it for an indefinite amount of time until we're ready to eat it. It's called salt-curing and it's a time honored procedure that keeps meat fresh when refrigeration isn't an option. While the bacon doesn't have to be refrigerated, I'll likely bag and freeze it just the same. I wouldn't have a clue how to hang it. The ham is a little easier as the leg portion is left on for just this purpose. One day maybe we'll build our own smoke house and get into the profession of selling smoked hams :) oh, wouldn't that be just wonderful?

Yesterday I had to call in. During the night I had some sort of allergic reaction and woke up steaming hot with a bad case of hives on my left thigh. Hello, if I get hives on that hunk of fat, you know it's a bad case! lol I should consider rendering some of it... ha ha ha. I don't know if my lips were swollen but they felt like they were on fire when I closed my mouth. Anyway, I went from being very hot and almost unable to speak to being chilled to the bone and unable to get warm. I don't know how long it lasted but when I got up the next morning, I was covered with red dots and splotches all over. Nice and pretty wouldn't you say? LOL You should have seen me. We still don't know what happened but we figured I probably got bit by something. Part of life living on the farm. No complaints from me :)

For our supper last night, I heated up a couple of left over steaks while onions and peppers sauteed in the gently simmering fat. I had peeled and sliced some carrots that were getting tenderized in beef bouillon, water, a little butter and a little black pepper. We finished off the purple hull peas and had some white beans with fresh onion chopped up for a topping. Neither of us thought we were very hungry but we somehow managed to clean our plates. Wish you were here to join us :)

I cleaned out any and all the leftovers if they had been with us too long and gave them to the dogs. I cleaned out the vegetable bins in the refrigerator and condensed whatever was left that was still good. I had fresh beets (surprise, surprise) that needed the tops chopped off so they could be bagged up for later in the week and I had a cucumber that had seen better days. I took the carrot peels, the cucumber and the beet greens out for the horses while Wally filled their water bucket. I've learned that if Rebel doesn't come to me right away, all I have to do is call Smokey and Rebel will be right there. This time, to my delight and surprise, they both came up to me. Before Smokey could get his part of the cucumber though, Rebel ran him off. Not to be deterred for long, he came back and ran Rebel off. While they played their game, I dumped the bowl of goodies on the ground and we watched them move each other off in circles, each taking turns eating off the ground.

It was a nice night out but we were both tired and ready for bed. After the episode with the hives and all I was ready to catch up on my sleep. And I actually did sleep for a change. I think I fell asleep before 8:30 and didn't wake up until 3:30 this morning.... ahhhhhh nice! I was up and out the door by 5:05 am and was greeted by a big deer right alongside the driveway and just outside the gate. Sometimes leaving isn't so bad when you get to see something like that. Four more deer were in the meadow on the side of the road just as the sun was coming up. Rounding another corner I found myself just a mile or so from work and wishing I was still going to be driving so I could see more scenery like that.

If I had kept going, I wouldn't be able to share my stories with you so here I am. If your weekend even came close to being as great as mine, then aren't we the ones with much to be thankful for?

“Life isn't weird: it's just the people in it.” unknown author