I'll have to go back to day one of 6th grade. Don't worry, I won't stay there long but as it was an important day for us, it requires inclusion.
I stood outside the school to meet up with friends before going in to greet our first day of middle school. In new school clothes, in the heat that is September in Florida, with the anticipation of finding out who will be in our classes, there we stood. We really thought we were something back then, didn't we?
A girl gets out of her mom's car and walks over to us, head sort of downward and appearing quite shy. She asked a question of me, one little question... and we have been friends ever since.
That shy girl was my friend Brenda. Brenda was new to our school and so didn't know a soul. I, on the other hand, had lived in this area since birth and knew all the locals. I took her in. We walked to the gym to get our schedules and somehow became fast friends that very first day. Middle school can be intimidating what with all those grown up 7th and 8th graders so we needed to stick together and that's exactly how it went.
Sixth grade girls are seriously lacking in confidence and this only bolstered the relationship. Even though I knew a lot of kids in school, I was friends with only a select few. Most seemed fake and honestly, I just really didn't like many of them. We didn't all come from the same side of the tracks and there were some who thought they were better than us simply because of where we lived.
That was okay, I didn't want to be friends with them anyway. I did, however, want to be friends with Brenda. She was nice, she was funny and she didn't care where I lived. She was incredibly shy! I'd never known anyone so shy. It was almost a challenge to get her to be friends with me but I wouldn't give up. I talked to her whenever I saw her and basically hounded her into talking to me.
Eventually we became inseparable, sixth grade girls will naturally do this.
We spent the night at each other's house whenever we were allowed. Mostly we stayed at my house. Brenda, while shy, seemed to prefer it. I'm sure it was because of our friendship and not because of my older, good-looking, football playing brother...
Brenda became less shy with me as days went by but that wasn't the same when she came to the house. She would put her hand up to her face as a way of hiding it and make a beeline for the bedroom so no one would see or acknowledge her being there. Well, it doesn't really work that way in my family. Everyone wants to say hi and ask how you're doing and especially see if you're hungry (God forbid).
I always thought it was so funny and my family just loved her to pieces! They hadn't met anyone this shy either.
I loved when we stayed at Brenda's house. Her mama made THE best spaghetti I ever ate. First of all, there was the spaghetti that had no sauce, just butter and garlic. What??? I had never heard of such a thing...it was so good! When she made sauce (gravy for the Italians), it didn't have meat in it or any sort of vegetables (peppers and onions?) but, looking back, I imagine it probably had garlic in it. Knowing Brenda, I'm sure it did. Pasta was always cooking on the stove.
Brenda's house was quieter than ours. I'm not sure why, there were four kids in her family too but that's how it was. We rarely saw her brother although he was friends with mine. We mostly sat at the dining room table talking along with Brenda's mom and older sister. Brenda's family talked about everything together. At my house. kids did their thing, adults did theirs.
Brenda and I grew up together. We shared feelings about everything from our families to school, to boys and everything in between. When we started driving, our range wasn't widespread like other kids. We would go to the Handy Way (convenience store) on the corner or maybe to a friend's house. At the Handy Way I was always the one to go in. Brenda stayed in the car. The shyness simply would not allow her to walk into that store.
Brenda's mom would take us to Dino's Pizza which was a huge treat for me. It may not sound like much to you but my parents simply couldn't afford to take us all out for pizza. There were more important things that the money had to go to. The pizza at Dino's probably wasn't all that good but back then, I was thrilled to be eating it.
Even though it was sometimes aggravating for Brenda to be hanging out with her mom, after all we were teenagers, it was fun for me to be around people other than family. Our family was always together, always. Looking back, I'm glad we were but as a teenager, I felt a whole lot different.
Not to share too much of Brenda's personal family life but her dad wasn't around much. This was a strange concept for me as my dad was always there. Somehow her mom found a way to be both mom and dad and while I'm sure she was challenged by it, she sure did a great job of it. Brenda and her siblings were loved and hugged (like it or not) by their mom like only a true Italian mom could do.
They shrugged it off a lot but she was persistent! She even hugged me! I was good with it.
So we grew up, finished school, met lots of other people who we considered friends and we sort of drifted apart for some time. Marriages, kids, different states, divorces, all these things happened to us both.
Then one day we found each other again. Turns out, our lives apart were very similar. Once again we found so much in common and our friendship flourished like never before. Perhaps age made us appreciate each other, perhaps experience, perhaps they go hand in hand?
One very significant thing happened though.
Brenda's shyness was gone. She became a strong lady. She became determined. She became her true self. I guess I think I always knew she was in there but what a sweet transformation! Her life brought out the strength and what a strength it is!
She now gives speeches, does on-line videos, has two extremely successful businesses and remembers to always thank God for everything in her life.
Brenda is a true joy to be around and I am the one who feels blessed to have her in my life. In fact, I do believe my life wouldn't be the same without this best friend of mine, who I met on the first day of sixth grade. I love you Bren.
From the Quote Garden:
"There is one friend in the life of each of us who seems not a separate person, however dear and beloved, but an expansion, an interpretation, of one’s self, the very meaning of one’s soul." ~Edith Wharton
"Say what you want about aging, it’s still the only way to have old friends." ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com
